So, today I'm going to skip the little piece about my past. It's harder talking about things that hurt you than you realize. So, instead... I'm going to say what's been bugging me.

Fake friends.
Losing friends.
Growing apart from friends.
And
Liers

Like I've said in an earlier post, I make friends easily. Maybe not the best ones, but I eventually get it right... and then I move. I know everybody has come across all the situations above, and it sucks. So we will start with fake friends first.

I, as I assume all of you have too, encounter too many people too good to be true. And, I'm usually right. I can not stand fake people. Not at all. I can't stand people that lie either. I'll give you examples, and as a policy on my blogs: real names will not be used.
Definition of fake friend: Someone who only acts as your friend when they require a service from you.
Someone who uses you.
Someone who talks to you to damage you social life.
Someone who talks to you even though they don't like you.
Someone who can be very jealous and insecure.
Someone who talks about you behind your back without regrets.
I know that everyone has come across someone like that. And quite frankly, it is annoying. I've had to many "friends" to know to trust someone when you first meet them. Why do people make fake friends? Because they can't stand seeing the person they hate succeed. WHY can't you go along with your business. Instead of deciding to hate someone because you think they are prettier than you, or skinnier than you, bubblier, more outgoing, or the guy you like likes her... maybe you should get to know her. Don't pretend to be her friend, but actually be interested in being her friend. You might be surprised at how much you actually like her and how much less drama you come across.

Second, we'll talk about people that lie. This is a subject that really gets me. What is the point in lying? You will eventually be exposed. You will eventually be caught, and even if it takes some time... is it worth it? Is it worth the guilt? Is it worth knowing you misled, broke the trust of, and hurt so many people and friends? I don't think so. I'd like to share some lies of... you could say a compulsive lier. In this case, we will call her.... let's say Tanz. No, it's not her real name, and not even close to it. She is the fiance of my boyfriends brother. Now, when we met her these are the things she told us:
♥She is a model (for magazines)
♥She has a volleyball scholarship
♥She has been to every state and every country except some place I've never heard of.
♥She has a brain tumor that will kill her in 2 years
♥She is an actor
Now, this is not all the lies, but I'm only giving in a few. Now to expose her lies:
♥Her modeling agency is exploretalent.com [This is not a modeling agency. This is a website for people who can't go to modeling agencies, play auditions, music auditions, etc. because they will not be casted! She also claimed that she does her modeling in California, but hasn't been going. I am a model, and I know from experience that if you do not show, then they drop you as a model. Another reason I know she is lying is because she is BIG. Very big. The magazines and people she claims to model for do not shoot plus size models, like most magazines don't. She should really look into this kind of thing if she's going to lie about it!]
♥She goes to a community college [Meaning, her volleyball scholarship is nonexistent. You can not get a sports scholarship to a community college, for one. For two, you can tell a volleyball player by looking at one- and she is way to big, way to unfit, way to un-muscular, smokes, and drinks. She does not play volleyball. She couldn't even if she tried.]
♥You are not welcome in some countries if you are from America [Hence, she has NOT been to every country but one. And I'm sure as hell she hasn't been to every state. For one, she has no money. For two, she would have pictures. She has absolutely NO pictures of ANY of these trips that she claims she has taken. This girl is 21, and I know she knows how to use a camera. Trust me, I've seen the pictures she takes.... they are all of her. And you know the pose that teens do where they push their lips out? This is the only pose she does in ANY of her pictures. So, yes readers... she can use a camera. I'd also like to point out that if she were a model, she would not pose in that way and she should grow up and act like an adult.. she is 21 now... not 16.]
♥She only goes to the doctor once a month, according to her, and she smokes and drinks [This only proves that she has no brain tumor that will kill her in 2 years. If the tumor were THAT serious, she'd go to the doctor MORE than once a month, she would have PROOF (which she doesn't) that she has a brain tumor, she would take medicine (which she doesn't), and she wouldn't be able to smoke or drink because that would make it WORSE.]
 ♥Same thing as when exposing her modeling lie. [If she were an actor, we would have seen her in something, she wouldn't be living in an apartment with a room mate, she would have no time to go out and party like she does, she would have no time on her hands period because of all the other stuff she "does", she would be skinnier and prettier...]
Now, if anybody takes offense to this post, my apologies... because I'm only exposing one person: Tanz. If none of you see the lies and how they are lies and how they conflict with each other, I'm sorry and maybe you should analyze it in your own head and read through this one more time. I hate liers, and I can tell who is a lier from the first conversation. You don't have to lie to impress people. Let people like/love you for who you are... not who you wish you were and pretend to be. You are definitely disrespecting yourself when you act like this. Not to mention hurting the people you 'care about' (which if you really cared about them, you wouldn't lie) and also breaking the trust with everyone you know. GROW UP!

Next, we will discover the heartbreak of losing friends. Why do we usually lose friends? Jealousy, ignorance, change, and importance to be on top. I've lost several friends to the fact that they lie, someone else lied, they were jealous, and they felt the need to look down on everybody... because God help us all if they aren't perfect and better than everyone else. This is what really gets me... losing a friend. I've lost a good handful of great friends. It's not fun. I wish I could just go to them and be like "Hey, so what is keeping us from not being friends?" But, I already know the answer to that question. Rumors from insecure, bored girls. They need to grow up as well. I would love to be friends with people again. Another reason I've lost friends is because I move so much. I eventually loose contact. If I meet them later in life, they've changed. They change to keep themselves up to standard of people who constantly criticize others for not being just like them. This makes me mad. Allow people to be who they are. Nobody needs anybody's approval. Especially teenage girls. They do not need approval from other teenage girls. When are they going to learn? I hate losing friends. It's painful and heartbreaking. If I could be friends with everyone I lost as one... I think I'd be much happier with things. Unfortunately, this can't and won't happen.

Next is growing apart from friends. This usually happens in a result to trying to better ourselves so the world will accept us. No, it's not necessary, but the people of this world have made it this way. I guess you could say, I don't really like the outcome of the human race. What has everybody become? I'm really not sure. Are you? Because if I'm correct, we should help each other. Not knock each other down. I can not stand what the world and the things (yes, things meaning people) inhabiting the world have become. It's plain out UGLY.

Has anyone ever felt that way, or is it just me? If you agree, I applause because that means there are some decent people in the world still. If you don't, I hope you find the beauty in this ugliness... because I sure can't.

♥Casper♥

So I never fully introduced myself, and as my title says: first impressions DO count. So excuse my manners as my first post had to be quick. I go by Casper on the web. Nothing more, nothing less. I've had a lot happen in my life, and therefor my blog will be filled with some exciting but most unforgettable and not very pleasant events. As my life continues to get a little better from the past each day, it also continues to disappoint me from not being far enough away from the past. I've noticed that everything can change in the matter of 5 minutes. I've started to realize a lot of things, but then again I've been saying that since I was about 12 years old. One of the things I've recently realized and am still trying to grasp is that nobody can go back and change the past, but anybody can start today and make a new future. It is hard for me to let go of my past, because it is always in my head. Nothing will ever change that.

I always seem to have a lot on my mind. I can't promise you the most interesting blog posts, and  I can't promise you all of them will be exciting and that you'll want to read my every post. What I can promise you is a most truthful blog. Day to day I write new things... new events happen and new ideas form. This blog is simply a way of releasing emotions that I've never been able to before.

The only person I've ever told my life to is my boyfriend. Thank God I have him. :) He's been there for me from day 1, every step of the way. I could not even begin to imagine my life with out him. He's extremely important to me and I love him very much. I was lucky enough to find him early on in my life. Love is something that everybody should have. If you haven't found it yet, put it on your bucket list (preferably within the top 5). A lot of people are not fortunate enough to find it early, and a lot of people are even less fortunate when they have found their marriage turns sour and it's marriage no more. Love is amazing, and it surprises you. I'm happy to report that the surprises don't stop either. If you are looking for love, then I suggest you stop. It's so much easier when you stop thinking about it. It will find you, and it seems to happen faster and easier if you just let it be. Fate always seems to amaze me.

As much as this contradicts my blog title and first sentence: I don't really care what people have to think about me. I'm not the drama type of woman, and I never will be.  I realized a long time ago that it's a waste of time. So for my sake, and yours keep it away from me. Just because I don't like drama does not mean I don't know how to dish it out. I'm a Christian, I'm proud to say it. A lot of people that say they are Christian's confuse me because then they get scared to have the world know it. I'm not. I'm pretty easy going, and I like to keep things simple. I'm a girly-girl. I come from a big family. My mother and I are close as well as my brothers and I. Both of my parents are divorced and re-married, so obviously that is what accounts for the big family.

Friends are important to me. Everybody should have a group of friends to lean on. I have figured out by now, and I hope you have, that friends will always- in one way or another- back stab or betray you. You have to learn to overlook the bad in the people you are closest to and focus on what brought you together. It's the good in people that seems to always get lost, I like to keep it in sight. Although, if someone didn't make it into your future, there is definitely a reason why. You have to learn to forgive and forget. Making friends comes easy to me... making good friends comes as a challenge. Also contradicting my title and first sentence: second impressions are better than your first 9 times out of 10. I mean, seriously how many times have you said you hated someone and then became friend with them later?

I've moved a ton of times in my short life. The ones that come easy to remember add up to over 20. The ones that I'd rather forget make the number jump higher. Every city/town says their school is the best. Well, I hate to burst every principle and employee of a school, but their schools are the same as everyone's. Most of them just mask the problems from the public, even though they are very much exposed within the school walls.

A lot of people come to me for advice on a variety of things. I look at something from all angels and view before giving an answer, and I don't judge anybody on anything. First, because you can't criticize anyone for anything. Nobody is perfect, so who are you to judge someone else's life? If you aren't them, then you will never know every little detail of their life and you will never know them completely. You never have and never will  come to that point. Second, because if someone comes to you for advice, they are not looking to be judged or criticized... they are looking for help and support. I would say differently if someone were to ask for an opinion, but we are talking about advice. What would be the point in going to someone if you knew they were going to lecture you and judge you rather than getting what you are looking for?

I also seem to get a number of requests for me to write about certain things in my blogs. Be my guest if you feel the need to do so. I welcome all topics, and enjoy getting my mind off of reality for a while to do a requested post!

Introductory is as complete as I can make it through words. Anything else you'd have to ask about. I hope I've done a good enough job for your likings! :)

♥Casper♥